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Which TV Mom Are You?

Motherhood and homemaking aren’t exact sciences; we all have our serene June Cleaver days and spicier Mommie Dearest days. It brings to mind all the classic moms we see on TV sitcoms and reality series — women who portray motherhood from every angle imaginable. Do you see yourself in those TV moms? Which one are you most like? Take our quiz to find out! Happy Mother’s Day!

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Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford (Mommie Dearest)

According to daughter Christina, Joan Crawford was a little — how should we put it? — over the top. Battling a few demons while raising kids isn’t the best combo, but wow! Joan sure knew how to keep a clean house.

You are: Excitable and high-maintenance, especially when things aren’t tidy.

Quote:
JOAN: Did you scrub the bathroom floor today? DID YOU?
CHRISTINA: Yes, Mommie.
JOAN: Yes, Mommie what?
CHRISTINA: Yes, Mommie dearest.



Credit: Paramount/Everett Collection

Image: Everett Collection image MSDMODE EC004
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  • Surrounded by her boys, their goof-off buddies, and an easygoing husband, June is the engine that makes the household go. She might have been famous for her starched-and-pressed apron, but in our book she could have easily strapped on a tool belt.

    You are: Concerned, caring, coiffed, and not about to let home maintenance slip through the cracks.

    Quote:
    JUNE: Ward, are you gonna help me with the dishes tonight?
    WARD: Well, Dear, I, uh, didn’t help Beaver with his painting. I can’t start playing favorites now.

     

    Credit: Everett Collection

  • Managing home and a gaggle of offspring, Carol is a juggling act on a unicycle who thinks the spaghetti on the ceiling is creative expression, although we suspect it’s having a full-time housekeeper (Alice) that keeps her sanity intact.

    You are: Indefatigable, good-humored, and when it comes to your kids, you wish you had soundproofed the walls.

    Quote: “Six kids and no noise. That’s what’s the matter … I’ve never heard such a loud silence!”

     

    Credit: Everett Collection

  • With her law degree, masterful mothering, and impeccably clean kitchen appliances, Clair is the TV mom that all other TV moms aspire to be. Who else could make rubber gloves a fashion accessory?

    You are: Elegant, eloquent, witty, a disciplinarian with the heart of gold, and you never lose at Scrabble.

    Quote: Appliances can be hard to resist sometimes. They’re shiny, they make weird noises, they have those buttons that light up. That’s why your father likes them!”

     

    Credit: Everett Collection

  • According to daughter Christina, Joan Crawford was a little — how should we put it? — over the top. Battling a few demons while raising kids isn’t the best combo, but wow! Joan sure knew how to keep a clean house.

    You are: Excitable and high-maintenance, especially when things aren’t tidy.

    Quote:
    JOAN: Did you scrub the bathroom floor today? DID YOU?
    CHRISTINA: Yes, Mommie.
    JOAN: Yes, Mommie what?
    CHRISTINA: Yes, Mommie dearest.



    Credit: Paramount/Everett Collection

  • Thank heaven for Roseanne, who made it OK to be a less-than-perfect mom in a less-than-perfect house. She speared friends and family alike with one-liners but defended her brood like a hellcat.

    You are: Loud, loyal, and don’t care who sees the beer cans on top of the TV or the laundry in the family room.

    Quote: “Excuse the mess, but we live here.”


    Credit: Carsey-Werner/Everett Collection

  • Twins? Plus sextuplets? Bring ‘em on. What can fertility drugs do that some good child-proofing tips can’t manage? Despite some major trash-day logistics, Kate keeps her sans-hubby household running smoothly.

    You are: Honest, devoted, and smart enough to know that TV royalties make up for some bad decisions.

    Quote: “In our house, trash is serious business!”

    Bonus quote: “Today, I may very well lose my mind.”

     

    Credit: Ray Tamarra/Everett Collection

  • Everything is fabulicious for Teresa, but small homes are skeeve. Teensy irritations like bankruptcy and putting her 10,000 sq. ft. manse on the market can’t prevent this Jersey girl from whipping out the plastic.

    You are: Disturbingly vivacious and inexplicably optimistic; when it comes to your house, your default setting is “upscale” and your philosophy is “bigger is definitely better.”

    Quote: “My whole house has nothing but marble, granite, and onyx.”

     

    Credit: William D. Bird/Everett Collection

  • Tough-as-nails Murphy busts social barriers as she tries to break the glass ceiling. As TV’s iconic single mom, she doesn’t have a husband, but she has Eldin the painter and surrogate nanny, which is just as good.

    You are: Self-reliant, brassy, and willing to put the Secretary of State on hold if your plumber calls.

    Quote: “Oh god, my body’s making milk. It’s like one day discovering you can get bacon out of your elbow.”

     

    Credit: Warner Bros. Television/Everett Collection

  • You’ve got to feel sorry for Bree — it’s so hard being perfect! Having kids and keeping everything in its place is a more-than-full-time job, but Bree’s got some fantastic storage solutions at 4354 Wisteria Lane that makes for obsessive-compulsive order!

    You are: A neat-nik (times, like, a thousand), a straight-shooter, and a darn good cook.

    Quote: “Please don’t mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection.”

    So which TV mom are you? Take our Facebook poll.

    Credit: American Broadcasting Companies, Inc.

  • If you like these, you may want to take a spin through HouseLogic’s library of slideshows.

     

  • June Cleaver
  • Carol Brady
  • Clair Huxtable
  • Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford (Mommie Dearest)
  • Roseanne
  • Kate Gosselin
  • Teresa Giudice
  • Murphy Brown
  • Bree van de Kamp
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